 (My aunt and uncle's last picture of us, c.1978) AND FOUND When I got home, Amy asked, "Do you know a Shirley and Jack? They called."
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/ NEXTAunt Shirley and Uncle Jack. Our favorite aunt and uncle ever ... that is, until dad died and we never heard from them or anyone else from his family again. That was 1983. I was thirteen. Twenty-three years ago. Twenty-three years of wondering why they didn't give a fuck about their brother's own little boys. Twenty-three years of emotional detachment from people and an attachment to death. I waited two days to call back. "Oh my God, it's so wonderful to hear your voice," Aunt Shirley said, "We've been looking for you and your brother for so long."  (Me and Aunt Shirley and drug-inspired '70s patterns.) We lived around the corner from your mother's house and you knew it, I thought reflexively but let it go. That reflex is a lonely child. Sha-na-na-na. "Your Uncle Jack didn't think you'd call back, but I knew," Aunt Shirley's voice was kind and crackly. "I wasn't sure if you'd even remember us," she said. "Of course we do! You and Jack were our favorite aunt and uncle!" I said happily, fully aware of both edges to that statement. Just saying that made me feel like a happy little boy again. Like my own little boy. Not too long ago and for a long time, I hated all of these people. I mean, what the fuck - we were kids - it was me, my brother, and my mom and her crappy waittress job and that was it. But ... things change. Having kids changed me. A lot of the things I thought were important just aren't anymore. Fatherhood is dropping the weapons and picking up the shield. Plus, they had to be really really old by now. "Did your mother ever remarry after your father died?" my dad's sister asked. "No." "Oh dear ...." After all these years, That was all the revenge I needed.  (The good candy was always on high ground.) ME, CIRCA 1978
They lived in a small country home with the word "COUNTRY" actually spelled out above the kitchen doorway.
My brother Mark and I visted them two weeks after the phone call. Mark didn't speak with them on the phone prior to meeting them. He was afraid he'd get mad and ask the question: "Why?"  The kids, Sun Su and Ooseung, had fun running around their old house as we listened to stories about cousins we had no recollection of. Aunts and uncles and their difficult lives. We have a half-brother out there who wants to meet us, his "brothers."  (Our half-brother on the left. Dad on the right. Sideburns all around.) Divorces and remarriages were as commonplace as heart attacks, death, and taxes in my dad's family. The American Dream is a primetime soap opera without the commercial breaks, nice lighting, or denouement. I accepted this drama as partly why they never contacted us sooner.  We learned a little more about our dad. We knew he served in The Korean War. We didn't know that he was trapped in a burning overturned truck for several hours and treated for months in the ICU. Or how he took us all camping once and brought us back the next day because our mom didn't want him talking to the other campers (dad was social). Or how good of a man and friend he was ... when he wasn't drinking. Or how his sister Shirley wished just once he'd get his ass kicked good so he'd stop fighting so much. Dad lied to us about that part. He always said he lost most of his fights. "Aww, your dad always wanted a little girl," our aunt said fawning over our little two-year old, Ooseung. Our dad's sister prepared some old pictures for us. The only pictures they had of us since childhood. Pictures of our dad we had never seen before. When Sun Su saw my pictures, he said, "Look! It's me!" "No, Sun Su," I laughed, "That's appah when I was a little boy. I was just like you. And you're just like appah." Sun Su comprehended the pictures quietly. Then giggled, like I used to. Until around 1983.  (Mark, me, and dad. My boy Sun Su looks at me like that now.) Oh and it was officially confirmed by our aunt, we are a quarter Scottish, and a quarter ... Welsh. Whatever that is. ________________________
BONUS PICS  I just had to put in this picture of my brother in his 1970s astronaut / racecar jacket. Cracks my wife Amy up.
HALLOWEEN 2006 
Pretty much same costumes as last year I think. (Left to right)
Ooseung as Hello Kitty Cowgirl, Amy as Hello Kitty, and Sun Su as
unmasked Spider-man (perhaps from the new Civil War storyline?).
EMAIL: scott_to_trot[at]msn[dot]com |