Another doctizzle entrizzle about the hospizizzle.

I really dig the blue walls in my room.

OCEAN’S 77

Handcuffs look a lot thicker and heavier up close. At least, the ones chained to this patient did. He looked like an experienced but gentleman conman, like the leader in a bank heist movie. Two puffed up security guards sat at opposite sides of his room while a nurse injected pain medication in his I.V. and another was standing there.

The odd thing was, everyone was smiling when I walked in. The prisoner was a real charmer, I’ll give him that. I kind of got the feeling the two nurses were in no rush to leave his room.

“How are you feeling today?” I asked.

“Better than yesterday, but then again, yesterday was pretty awful,” he answered.

“When you reckon I can get this tube out of my nose, doc?” he asked.

“When you start moving your bowels,” I reckoned.

I felt a little awkward in his room. First off, it was kind of crowded with the guards, nurses, and chains lying around. Secondly, my eyes kept looking at the handcuffs on his bed for some reason. Thirdly, I kind of prefer being able to talk to my patients one-on-one, at least the first or second time I see them. You get a better sense of who someone is that way. Everyone else is just background noise. I also wanted to know what he was in (prison) for.

We talked about his X-rays and his partial bowel obstruction. These bowel obstructions are mysterious things. The bowel loops just seem to stop working, maybe they get irritated or twisted on some internal scarring from his previous abdominal surgeries. Tied up like little balloon animals. You just stop putting things in from above until things start coming out below.

“Is there anything else I can get for you right now?” I asked my usual exit question.

“There are lots of things,” he said gathering knowing smiles from the guards and nurses alike, “but right now I’d just like some good ol’ hard candy.”

“That should be fine. Do we have any?” I inquired.

“Hmm, we have lozenges,” the nurse offered.

“Maybe someone can get you some candy from the gift shop then,” I suggested glancing at the guards who ignored me. Then I realized that is usually how the prisoner escapes in the movies too – when one of the guards leaves for a minute.

“I just have to wait I guess,” the prisoner shrugged.

“Yep, might be another day or so before we can take that tube out of your nose.”

“Well, I’ve only got seventy-seven days doc,” he said self-effacingly, making everyone in the room laugh again.

“That’ll give us something to shoot for then,” I quipped back.

“No rush … just wanted to throw it out there.”

I haven’t laughed that loud in a long time.

* * *

OCEAN'S 76

Today, my convicted criminal begged me for some sherbert ice cream (while declining his intravenous dilaudid). He almost cried when I told him he had to wait until after the C.T.

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NEW DRAWING

This was supposed to be GG (www.daydreamy.com). Sometimes it's hard to determine why your drawing doesn't look like the person you are drawing.

This was supposed to be GG (www.daydreamy.com). Sometimes it's hard to determine why your drawing doesn't look like the person you are drawing.

This one didn't come out quite how I wanted
for some reason.

The line in the upper left corner is actually part of a circle that
Sun Su drew AROUND the drawing and thankfully not ON the drawing.