LAST
BID
On the phone today:
AMY: "They're
offering 370 if we paint the walls (that Sun Su drew on) and 'sanitize'
the basement (no one loves my cat ... The LIGER!)."
ME (thinking): "Cheap
f***ers."
AMY: "But I say we
counter with 380 and we do the walls and basement. Or 370 and we don't
do anything."
ME: "That's like
saying it will cost ten-thousand dollars to paint three walls and sweep
the basement. That's crazy."
AMY: "Hmm. I guess."
ME: "Let's just take
it and get out of there."
AMY: "Alright. Here,
talk to the realtor."
OUR REALTOR /
SUSPECTED ALCOHOLIC: "Blah blah blah and offer 375 as is, or 380 with
painted walls."
ME: "You think that
will work?"
OUR REALTOR /
SUSPECTED ALCOHOLIC: "Well, we'll find out."
ME: "Fine."
Phone call from Amy a little later.
AMY: "They offered
$374,000 without the painted walls or basement thing."
ME: "Cheap f***s.
Fine. We're out of there."
*(Note: Amy wants you all
to notice the blurry green flower ring on her hand in this pic.
To which I commented that I couldn't see her breasts in this one.)
SOLD!
Our house is sold.
Finally.
It's a little sad
because it means my brother Mark won't be living with us anymore. He
was awesome with Sun Su and Sun Su loved dancing to his punk music. I
thought it was good for Sun Su to have another masculine presence in
the house when I wasn't around, and I think a lot of my brother's more
outgoing mannerisms rubbed off on Sun Su in a good way. I really do not
want Sun Su to have quite the cloistered personality of his appah (me).
It doesn't make anything easier in the real world, that's for sure.
It also means our
days of visiting the Corean church and friends are numbered. Single
digits. Like two or three more Sundays tops. I guess I'll have to start
cultivating new potential brides for my Sun Su.
On the up side, I'll
be snuggling in bed with Amy every night.
And I won't have to
wonder if the misty eyed thing at two in the morning is because my legs
are still aching from achilles holds at jiu-jitsu practice or
because my arms are just lonely for my boy after six days of
aching emptiness.
Or maybe that's just
the bicep tendon strains from fighting off armbars this week.
I swear I came this
close to buying Ben Gay and Motrin for the first time in my life this
week.
But I decided against
it. One pain can help you ignore another.
____________________________________________
CHURCH
OF EVIL
WISHES
We visited the pastor
a couple weeks back.
“So, Scott and Amy,
you’ll still come to church until you
sell your house?” the moksahnim (Corean for “pastor”) asked us, as we
drank tea
in his living room.
“Yeah, well whenever
Scott is home we will,” Amy answered.
“Probably every other
Sunday,” I said
“Well, then we will
pray,” the young moksahnim solemnly sipped
his tea and added, “That you do not sell your house.”
He chuckled and I
laughed at the selfishly evil use of his
Godly powers.
Evil but touching.
Makes me wonder if
God and the Devil were both on Last Comic Standing, who do you think
would win?
