SAVE THE LAST ROMANCE
Amy and I had our five year wedding anniversary last week.
AMY: "What did you get me?"
ME: "I got you those silk pajamas for Valentines Day that you never wear. I'm not getting you anything else until you start wearing them."
AMY: "Ask me what I got you."
ME: "No."
AMY: "Ask me."
ME: "No. I already know."
AMY: "ASK ME!"
ME: "What did you get me?"
AMY: "I gave you two kids. That's what. Hahahha!"
ME: (shakes head)
While driving in the car, Amy tries sticking the little Corean wedding doll on the car window.
AMY: "How come this doll won't stick on the window anymore?"
ME: "I think it's getting too old. Let me see it."
Lick. Stick. She stayed.
I knew that would work. That's how a lot of relationships start too.
We ate dinner at a Japanese restaurant for a change. I've come to really like raw fish. Clean, lean and simple.
At least until you eat a poorly mixed chunk of wasabi. And then it feels like someone put a flame-thrower up your nose and roundhoused you in the back of the head.
Japanese food lacks the spicy machismo of Corean food though. Where the unspoken goal of a meal is to eat the hottest fieriest (<--real word!) foods while trying to drink the least amount of cool liquids. Alcohol is allowed though, because, you know, it goes well with fire.
We talked a little about little things. Just enjoying being alone for once, the childlike simplicity of us. Still, we chuckled about Sun Su's latest tricks (although corrupting the drivers on my video card was not funny) and Ooseung's latest baby feats (her incredulous looks of baby suspicion).
At one point, I told Amy I had to go back to the car to get my camera. It occurred to me that this would have been a perfect time for me to bring out a nice anniversary gift. If I had one. It also occurred to me that maybe Amy thought for a split second that I was going to the car to get a gift as well.
But like I said in the beginning of this entry, I didn't have one. The days just seem to move too fast.
Afterwards we saw the Starsky and Hutch movie (it was mostly funny except for the faux "Korean" man scene - definitely not Corean) and then headed home to relieve my mom of her baby-sitting duties for the night.
AMY: "The realtor doesn't think we'll make any profit when we sell the house. Prices are low now."
ME: "Well, we've only lived here for a year."
AMY: "What are you talking about? We've been here for three years."
ME: "Oh yeah."
Time creeps up like that.
Counting. In bed.
ME: "Five ... plus three ... plus two ... we've known each other for ten years. Can you believe it?"
AMY: "Huhh? When did we get engaged?"
ME: "I don't remember. I never got a chance to propose to you since your brother gave you the ring."
This is why I have no grand romantic story about asking Amy to marry me on bended knee. I just have some vague memories of talking about getting married, deciding to get married, looking for the ring of Amy's choice (it had to be to her specific liking)*, and then finding out her brother got a good deal on it and that he just gave it to her, instead of me, one day.
* (Amy is very specific about jewelry, and at the time I had no sense of her style. So having her pick the actual ring was fine by me. I mean, I wouldn't be able to feign excitement well either if she suddenly came home with NBA Basketball for the Xbox or something. No babes, no giant robots, no guns? No thanks.)
I even remember the night I found out....
"You got the ring already? But I wanted to give it to you and surprise you. I was planning something, I just don't know what," I said as weeks of fruitless scheming leaked out of my brain.
"I wanted to see it. I couldn't wait," she said wearing the ring already.
"You're supposed to wait. That's the whole point," I stated.
"You can still ask me."
"It's not the same. It was supposed to be a surprise. I mean you knew I was getting the ring, but you weren't supposed to know when I had it. This was MY thing. It was going to be this big romantic surprise and ... Forget it."
Some women dream of their wedding day. I used to dream of that perfect night to pop the question and present the ring. Seeing the surprise on her lips and glimmer in her eyes. A genuine unplanned expression of grateful love. A memory I would have for the rest of my life.
We got a great deal on Amy's ring of choice. But I still felt robbed.
I am all for the woman asking the man first. At least they share That Moment. That surprise. But with us, we never had that. We just mutually drifted into this understanding that we would get married. It felt natural. It was exciting enough at the time.
And honestly, a part of me was relieved. I was in medschool at the time anyways, stressing about "the perfect engagement surprise," along with the usual recommendations, exams, and applications stresses that make you wish your life was simpler - like a gladiator. It was one less thing for me to worry about. The end would be good enough; who needs the means. Especially when you are marrying the woman of your dreams - daydreams, sleep dreams, and wet dreams all in one.
I still tease Amy about it, but I still wish I had That Moment with her.
ME: "Technically, your brother proposed to you. You should have married him."
AMY: "What are you talking about? ... You can still ask me ...."
Then she drifted off to sleep.
And I thought that maybe I could ask her someday. A real surprise.
Maybe I can plan something. For one special surprise of a day someday. Not this year. Probably not next year. Just someday, somewhere special.
I already have a place in mind.
And this time, I'll take my time.
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DADDY'S ADVENTURES IN BABY-SITTING
Who says baby-sitting has to be hard when Sun Su and Amy are shopping? Here I am playing Steel Battalion with my new 40-button two-joystick control panel, and sweet Ooseung fell asleep in my arms amidst the mech combat and explosions (which were pretty loud since Amy was out). Baby needs a new pair of recoilless rifles.
Note my intense lip biting game face. Compare with Ooseung's more sedate game face. She's a natural at this, I can tell.
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ALWAYS LET THE BABY WIN.
My spellchecker tried replacing the word "Ooseung" with "oozing."
If my spellchecker had arms, I would tear them off faster than a wookiee who just lost a card game.
(I don't know what is sadder. That lame Star Wars analogy I just used or the fact that I haven't played Star Wars Galaxies in a month and I am still using lame Star Wars analogies.)
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