Tuesday, Nov. 4, 2003.
A Fine Young Corean.
Amusing cartoons. His URL address ROKs too.
He gets an extra Kit-Kat for that.
SCHOOL OF HARD CANDY
"Do you hate kids or something?" I say to Amy while perusing the candy she bought Halloween night.
"What are you talking about?"
"You got hard candy. I hated this stuff as a kid," I make my disgusted face.
"I like hard candy. You get the candy next time."
"I guess I will have to," I say, "Hard candy is the candy you have left when all the good candy is gone. Hard candy is for old people with salivary problems. You might as well give out Brach's butterscotch, McDonald's certificates, and apples."
I turn around and there are two little trick-or-treaters at the door listening to my tirade.
"Uhh, we've got customers," I said.
"Do you want the hard candy or the chocolate?" Amy asks a little neighborhood Indian girl dressed as a princess.
"Hard candy," the little betrayer answers.
She's probably allergic anyways.
A FISTFUL OF NICKELS
A little later.
"Why are you so stingy with the candy?" I pester Amy again.
"What are you talking about? I give out two pieces to everyone," Amy answers.
"You've got an entire bowl of candy there. Give 'em a handful."
Great, I think, we're going to be that spook house at the end of the street that gives out crappy candy and tiny portions. I may as well start toilet papering our trees now and save them the trouble. The kids have a curfew and all.
"Last year I ran out of candy and had to go out and buy some more," Amy answers.
"If we run out we could always give out ... (I wander to the kitchen) ... Progresso soup! Cans of tuna! Nickels! Or even better - we can give out these empty Pepsi cans - that's ten cents!"
"We can give out ... The LIGER!" Amy says dryly.
Amy is constantly looking to get rid of our poor cat, ... The LIGER! Poor thing gets no love in this house except from me. He's frightened of Sun Su the Sunderer. Although sometimes he is just too tired to run. Plus, I think he just appreciates any kind of physical contact these days - even the fistfuls of cat hair kind.
THERAPISTS FOR THE REST OF US
As far as costumes, we got a few princesses. Some little kids in scary masks. Some gypsy girls. Another Indian boy in our neighborhood was in a cowboy outfit. The horse was part of the costume which was inventive, but the horse head ended up sticking out right where his little pepper would have been. Um, nice going dad.
There were a couple Corean kids in our neighborhood who weren't dressed up at all. If they just put on a simple black mask they could have been the Crazy 8's at least.
"You're dressed as students right?" I said as Amy handed out the candy with Sun Su's help.
Too bad we didn't get any hot samurai babes, Go Go Yubaris, or adult-rated Tinkeybells.
We did get someone dressed as a doctor though. Complete with blood spattered scrubs. I resisted the urge to explain how the blood pattern didn't look "spurty" enough, but the blood on the face was a nice touch.
Amy handed out the candy because who knows what kind of Sphinx-like riddles and power trip I might have had with that treasure trove of sugar under my control....
KID: "Trick or tre--"
ME: "How do you spell Corea?"
KID: (frightened look)
ME: "You want this Kit Kat? Then tell me ... how do you spell COREA?"
KID: "Uh ... K ..."
ME: "WRONG! Kit Kat is spelled with a K. Does the most wired country in the world look like a chocolate bar to you? Get off of my property or I will sick ... The LIGER! upon you."
KID: (starts crying)
ME: "Okay, okay, I'll give you a break. Try this one - EAST SEA or Sea of Japan?"
KID: (whimpers) " ... Sea ... of Japan?"
Kid runs away as I pelt him with hard candy and suckers.
We never did see those kids who hit Amy's car with snowballs last year (I forgot which entry it was). They live just around the corner too. Maybe that's why Amy got the hard candy.
LIKE I SAID
Maybe next year, I'll take Sun Su out trick-or-treating. I'm not really sure what age is appropriate. He would have gotten too scared this year. Unless his daddy carried him around all night. But it was too cold.
So here I am now, four days post Halloween, with a big bowl of sucker-like hard candies. Like I said, all the good candy is gone.
It's not so bad I guess.
________________________________
JUST THE BACKS
(Week Four I think)
I am still playing video games while running on the treadmill. I'm getting tired of Pride Fighting Championship (PS2), although it's a great wrestling-type game and much deeper than Ultimate Fighting Championship (Xbox).
I am now learning to play RAW 2 (Xbox). I can be Triple H, Hulk Hogan, The Rock, The Undertaker, all of those freaks. But someone please tell me,
Where is Coco B. Ware? Or Junkyard Dawg? Or Ricky The Dragon Steamboat?
(Apparently, Ric Flair is a manager now.)
I'll probably just play the really hot wrestling chicks anyways.
.
