Monday, March 31, 2003.
Thanks to Ben for the SARS links.
STRAIGHT TRIPPIN' BOO
... White socks and dark socks. Check.
I had an entirely different entry written for today, but this isn't it. The other entry was nothing new for this site. Mortality and innocence, lil babies and video games. Same old thoughts with a baby bouncing in there, I guess.
I've felt a slight uneasiness lately. It all started Friday when Amy said,
"I don't think I'm going to be able to go with you."
You see, we were supposed to go on vacation together - me, Amy, and Sun Su. I have two medical conferences across the country this week. We bought the plane tickets and hotel reservations. Each conference itself cost a few hundred dollars.
On Thursday, Amy's bloody friend came back with a vengeance, after 19 months of baby-related period-less bliss. My chances of getting sweet lovin' just decreased by twenty-five percent since Thursday too, but if you round up, it's the same difference.
On Friday, Amy starting coming down with a cold and sinusitis. It continued through Saturday and I have to admit a tiny part of my brain was worried whether this new SARS epidemic was making it to Michigan (mostly in Asia but North America too, the Italian doctor who discovered it just died of it as well). But as of Sunday she was finally feeling better, just not well enough to endure a long plane ride and take care of Sun Su. I think she is actually relieved to not have to go on the plane.
Bottom line: I will be far away without Amy or Sun Su for about nine days.
... Underwear. Nine of them. Check.
To most people this is probably no big deal, and perhaps even a license for reckless riotous fun. But unlike my Sagittarian sign-sake, I am not one of those people. My wanderlust is limited to Corea (or a reasonable facsimile). I don't care to see the world so much or get a tiny taste of other cultures. I think it takes several weeks to months to really absorb another culture. I can't remember the last time I've even traveled alone, if ever. Honestly, ever since I've been with Amy she's taken care of all of the details and such.
... Black tie. Yin-yang tie. Flower tie. Power tie. Check.
Even my mom knows I am a homebody. She was telling me,
"Stay away from internet people. They have cops posing as fourteen-year old girls."
"MOM! What the hell are you telling me this for?!"
"Do you know anyone there?"
"This Corean guy might show me around."
"Corean people are not trustworthy. Only your family is. Some of them," she forbade.
"He's a lawyer too, mom. I'm friends with him."
"NO! He will try to blackmail and frame you! Don't do this, son!" (My mom has nothing against lawyers. Just everyone in general.)
"Leave now."
"Also stay away from any girls who are friendly with you there. They'll get you drunk and seduce you."
"You know I don't drink. What are you saying about me?"
"Watch out for the men too."
"MOM!!! GET OUT!!!"
... Workout shorts. Fin.K.L tank top. Check.
I asked Amy last night, "Aren't you going to miss me?"
"Huh? I can't go, I don't feel well."
"Yeah, I know.... HAHHAAHA!! I was just thinking - HAHA!! -- What if you suddenly saw me on one of those MTV Spring Break shows getting all shit-faced and saying stupid things on TV?"
Amy laughed too. She doesn't usually laugh at my jokes. Which tells you how ridiculous this one was to her. Although she did tease me about that new Yahoo! Personals ad on television lately. The one with people practicing their "hello's" in front of the mirror.
The whole online journal thing is still weird to her. Of course, I think watching cooking shows is weird too.
... Recharge batteries. Pack laptop with the broken shift-key (by Sun Su). Check.
And Sun Su. My sweet boy. Each week he gets more and more fun. Rubbing his head into my neck like he does with his mommy. Laughing when I smile at him. He chases me in circles around the house (he really flies in his roller). He's even been trying to bite me on the cheek like he does with Amy all the time. Each time he tries though, he makes his bitter face. Maybe my stubble and skin tastes more salty than mommy's soft cheeks.
He's even starting to stand himself up by grabbing onto chairs. I think when I get back he will be walking.
Are you going to miss your daddy, Sun Su?
... Pants, khaki, khaki, brown, and brown. Shirts. Corean guardian tie pin. Check.
So that's about it. By the time you read this I will be on my way. My mom and Amy's relatives will be helping Amy out as needed. I figure I'll probably spend my nights wandering around the area like the summer evenings during my college days. Maybe I'll finally experience a boba drink. Or find a nice arcade to mesh into. See a movie. Find a museum. Eat out alone. I think I'm too pale for the beaches though. And just too self-conscious to go there by myself anyways.
It will be a lot like my pre-Amy days I suspect. Without my Amy, I'll be a little less confident and self-assured. A little lost and longing inside. Like a shirt missing a button. Mismatched socks. Like trying to run in boxers instead of briefs. Actually that's a great underestimation, but I don't want to sound codependent here.
A good woman centers a man. Diminishes his insecurities. Gives him more purpose. Clears his mind and fills his soul.
And they remind you not to pick your nose in public.
I survive just fine alone (except for the nose part). So well, that I used to believe I would remain alone forever. Free to sulk in my own solitary confinement and dark icky heart. That gave me power before I met Amy and occasionally still does, but that's another entry.
Now I gather my strength in the idea that I'll always have Amy at my side but I try not to take her for granted. I'm only half of myself without her. I always was, I just didn't know it then.
Here's to fun and sun and man-whores trying to get me drunk and tie me up.
My mother warned me about people like you.
... Image of a smiling Sun Su and Amy indelibly burned into my brain. Check.
... Wedding band. Check.
... Heart. Left home for safe keeping.
.... One of Amy's used panties to calm my primal brain at night .... Damn. I knew I forgot something.
______________________________
WHY I SPELL COREA WITH A 'C'
(revisited)The short version : Some people do. Some people don't. For me, the Corean spelling represents the pre-20th century connotation of a more romantic/traditional single unified Corea. Like a femininja in a hanbok, it may not be very practical nor realistic, but it's a beautiful ideal.
If you can find a longer and more in-depth explanation for this part of Corean history, let me know.
Because I sure can't.
______________________________
MEDEA SIN HOT MODEL
Today's Hot Model is
MIRA.
The mysterious and mirthful Corean warrior known as Mira is one of my newest favorites. Sincere and creative, clever and magical, her words are delicious Seoul food for the brain.
These pictures are just too adorable. If the Beach Boys were in Canada, they'd be singing "I Wish They All Could Be Corean-Canadian Girls." Or even "You got me all twisted in the game and the cool points are out the window, boo'."
Don't hate me because she's beautiful and smart. Hate me because I have the original wall-sized copies of these images and I never share my pr0n.
(Click here to become a MEDEA SIN HOT MODEL.)
