Friday, February 28, 2003.
Someone
to talk to when you feel a little down
(not safe to
listen to at work, unless people are having
loud sex where you work).
Amy still listens to that Benomix, you sent us, Beno.
Sun Su
weight: 50th
percentile (21 lbs).
Height: 90th
percentile.
Age: 9 1/2 months.
JUST A BABY
Sun Su is up and at 'em at the crack of six every morning. And every morning as my little bird is pulling my hair and laughing I wonder why does he have to get up so early? Where's the worm, early bird? Do you have to get a head start at work? I want to go back to sleep, but he's happy to just be awake. He doesn't know any better,
Because he's just a baby.
Sun Su is so funny. He's always looking around to see what everyone else is doing. Always trying to get into other people's business.
"Why you trying to get into other people's business, Sun Su," Amy says as he moves his noggin to get a better look,
"You're just a baby."
When we are all eating at the table, Sun Su will pause from his baby food and stare intently at whatever we are eating. You know, because whatever we are eating is far more interesting than what he is eating.
"No Sun Su, you cannot drink my pop. This is adult food, and
"You're just a baby."
When Amy is looking at her hand mirror, Sun Su tries to grab it. Why? He can't possibly be that vain yet, even though he is too cute for words. Real words are too big for his little mouth anyways, other than "umma" and sometimes "umma-appuh" ("mom" and "dad"). I can hardly believe it when he says this. I still think the "appuh" part is just wishful thinking, and the "umma" part is that parkinsonian baby mumbling that babies do. I mean, how can he be saying words already?
He's just a baby.
Tonight while I was typing this on my laptop upstairs, Sun Su just had to get his hands on the keyboard. The next thing I know my LEFT SHIFT key is in his tiny palm like a winning raffle ticket.
"Sun Su, how did you do that? That's a $4000 computer and you just tore the shift key off of it. How's daddy supposed to capitalize his p's and k's now?"
I'm not upset. I'm just amazed. I mean how did he do that?
He's just a baby.
Already there have been times when Daddy Tiger could not help his Little Cub. Like when Sun Su had a bowel movement so hard it made him cry. Ouch. We made sure to give him more water after that. But this one incident nearly traumatized both of us. He was looking right at us with tears in his eyes and we couldn't do a thing to help him. He had to poop it out on his own.
It was also difficult when I was sick last weekend because I could not go near him. My whole body aching, I would literally crawl out of bed to his doorway and collapse there as he played in his room. I was concerned that he mistook my unusual aloofness as a sign of rejection, but I just didn't want him to get sick (and get my ass kicked by Amy too). I could tell he was confused by my lack of affection all of a sudden.
This hurt me because I want to see him happy all the time. I can't think about babies in the Neonatal ICU the same way anymore, not even on TV. All I can think of is that a baby's prerogative is to be happy all the time. Babies just want to have fun. I want Sun Su to be happy all the time, because
He's just a baby.
At night, when Sun Su starts rubbing his eyes, we know it's bedtime for him. He tries to fight it, and gets cranky. Then Amy will pick him up and walk around with the lights dimmed, saying "shh shh shhh" while walking in circles. If Amy is wearing a Hello Kitty pin on her shirt, then Sun Su will grab onto it as he drifts to pillow land. If she is not wearing the pin, Sun Su will stick his finger in Amy's ear until the sand fairies tuck him in.
Sometimes it's so hard to get him to sleep. Like his daddy, he wants to stay up too late. As if he's got important things to do. But honestly, what does a baby have to do at eight p.m.? Seriously, come on now,
He's just a baby.
Sometimes he will wake up in the middle of the night, crying, and he doesn't stop right away. Did you think we abandoned you, little Sun Su? Did the kumiho (evil fox woman) try to take your soul away with her magical orb? Did the incubus invade your dreams and tell you that this world is about more than just happy little babiesss? Well, if he did, then that goddamn motherfucker was lying.
I wish I could protect you in your dreams Sun Su. Maybe if I kiss your cheek and smell your sweet breath when you are sleeping, you will recognize daddy's smell in your sleep too, and feel safe. This is why I am always nuzzling you, little cub. So you learn that you don't have to see daddy to know he is near. So you don't have to worry, because
You're just a baby.
I guess these are the good times, people say. When you don't have to chase your baby around the entire house all day, or deal with their tantrums and experimental autonomy. Already Sun Su is starting to push me away when I go to smooch him. He doesn't want his thought processes and observations interrupted I guess. He's taking more interest in cupboards and my tie when I hold him before I go to work. He gets annoyed if there is a computer keyboard within sight and he is not on it.
Ah, they grow up so fast. Maybe when Sun Su gets out of his baby stage, we'll have another, just because we are already starting to miss those stationary baby days.
I'm beginning to understand my mom and her obsession over thinking of her grown sons as still being her babies. Even now, Amy keeps telling me that Sun Su is going to be a toddler soon. Ooh, a toddler, well whoop-de-doo. He'll be too big for his one-sies britches then, I suppose. Not that it matters. I've got more kisses than you can possibly swat away, little one. I don't care how old you get, to me, you'll always be
Just a baby.
______________________________
MEDEA SIN HOT MODEL
Today's Hot Model is the cosmopolitan and experienced peacekeeper,
He is conversant in a handful of languages. He's been the national delegate for this and on the board of directors for that, and was president for the other one over there. And he was also a participant in the World's Longest Dragon Dance on the Great Wall itself. Plus, he brings in the honeys like a beehive on growth hormone and amphetamines. Then he just swats them away like Heathcliff with a bad bladder infection. Sorry, it's late.
Anyways, he's been a pretty good friend despite myself as well. Those are pretty hard to find out here. He's also not afraid to admit that he doesn't know kung fu; but he does know Dance Dance Revolution. (I'm glad someone liked that shirt.)
Chris is the "soulful twin" of Key, another recent Hot Model. Chris requested I put them up together, but since I already did her, I figured I'd just plug them both now.
(That last sentence is even more wrong considering the context of this entry. I'll be ashamed later, as usual.)
(Click here to become a MEDEA SIN HOT MODEL.)
