Sunday, September 29, 2002.
Sun Su is: 4
1/2 months!
I Am Unique! because: I am the only person online
who does not chat.
Disappointed: I
missed Corean class at church today. I feel sick. Maybe it's West Nile.
Apparently: I
"bumped" into Danny McGuffin this month. (His beautiful
wife Jocelyn
has a journal too now.)
EVERYTHING I NEED TO KNOW ABOUT SAVING LIVES
I LEARNED FROM VIDEO GAMESEighteen days since my last update. About four or five full entries in that time I've been meaning to write but of course will never do now. There's always things to write about for me. Just never enough time or inclination.
Anyways, a couple weeks ago, I recertified my Advanced CPR license. It was educational, since they've changed the CPR protocols a bit. The protocols are fun to learn because I can't help associating them with martial arts stances and styles (from video games, not real life).
Pulseless Eve Tach (Ventricular TACHycardia) or Vee Fib (Ventricular FIBrillation), The Liar of Souls? Charge up, throw a three-hit lightning combo (cardioversion - the "shocks"). Block (check pulse). Strike to trachea (intubation). Machine gun punches to chest (breathing, compressions). Then EPI-strike. Or now, if you like the European style of 'Sin Kwan Doe, you can sneak in a Vasopressin uppercut just once - guaranteed to stun your opponent for ten minutes (i.e. You may not give Epinephrine for ten minutes afterwards). Another change in protocol. Fun stuff.
They also changed the course to make it less "scary." In one session, instead of having just YOU running the CPR shocks and drugs, this time they had teams of three people who can actually help each other with their answers. I hated it. There was this one guy who was so hyped up on testosterone, adrenaline, and Type A personality traits, that he was answering everyone else's questions. The only thing I got to say during the whole CPR was, "Epi, one milligram."
I could have learned that much from a 10-second E.R. commercial.
Yeah, I passed of course, but I just didn't like the leniency that our instructor gave allowing anyone to speak at any time. CPRs are supposed to be scary, at least the first dozen or so.
There were a few classes too (from 5 PM to 10 PM, what-the-fuck). At first I didn't know who was what - nurse, tech, internist, surgeon, resident, attending. But after a couple of days, certain telltale clues gave way:
The guy who had too much coffee, testosterone, adrenaline, interrupting everyone else (who wasn't a surgical attending) - New surgical intern.
Stories of cracking open a malpractice lawyer's chest (AFTER his heart stopped of course) and then squeezing his heart with his hand on the way to the O.R. -- Cardiothoracic surgical attending.
"EKGs - seen them. Don't want to know about them." -- Said by same cardiothoracic attending. (This one surprised me though.)
"Lopressor, one milligram?" -- It's supposed to be ten milligrams. Said by orthopedic surgeon. Not his fault, they deal with bones. (I guess you'd have to be an internist to find this amusing.)
"When I say FFP, I don't mean Fresh Frozen Plasma. I mean Freeze-dried Fucking Prune." -- Veteran emergency doctor referring to the neglected / dehydrated nursing home patients that she sees in the ER all the time. She's teaching the course, and is the best thing about it.
"I like to use the F-word like a comma in a sentence." -- Same emergency doctor. She's awesome.
Quiet guy, good-natured, in good shape. Looks rested. -- Rehab resident doctor.
"This is the same protocol they did twenty years ago and then changed and changed back again." -- Veteran Cardiac ICU nurse.
" ...." -- Other nurses.
" ...." -- Me, looking at the clock, wondering when Mortal Kombat 4 is coming out, or Dead Or Alive Extreme Volleyball. Wondering what a girl named Amy Odarone, Defender of the Heart, would look like. In Corean armor of course. (Part of the new CPR protocol.)
ANOTHER COREAN HOLIDAY
We celebrated the Corean holiday Chusok last weekend (I think, I'm losing track). Yes, another Corean holiday, between family birthdays and holidays, something is going on every two weeks.
Chusok is sort of like a Corean Thanksgiving. Only, instead of thanking Native Americans for letting us have their land in exchange for a turkey, Chusok thanks spirits of dead ancestors for another bountiful harvest.
This is Amy's father, whose birthday we were celebrating and Sun Su's older baby cousin with the gangster hair, Kun Sae. His name means "authoritative." As does his hair.
This is my boy Sun Su and his Jopok gangsta uncle (Jopok is like the Corean mafia). I'm not allowed to talk about him or his wife (Amy's sister), or else she will come down on me like Mighty Asian Thunder.
I wasn't completely bored by all the weekend football on the TV. Mostly because Amy's brother had one of my favorite fighting games Dead or Alive 3, on the X-Box. It wasn't long before my nieces jumped in as well. They're very competitive. The oldest one, Princess (in purple), wins in all of these competitions of course. But the younger one, the angry little Monk, is starting to become crafty as well.
Round One
MONK NIECE: "I want to be the girls."
PRINCESS NIECE: "I win again. You're too slow. You lose again."
Round Two
MONK NIECE: "NO!! I want to be the man this time."
PRINCESS: "Sigh .... you lose again. Let's go again."
Round Three
MONK (presses game-pause button in middle of fight).
PRINCESS: "Stop that! Press the button again."
MONK (Unpauses game for a second, then pauses it again.)
PRINCESS: "Stop it! I quit!" (Stomps off.)
Hmm, clever move, young one. Sometimes the best way to win a fight is not to engage in one.
They're cute, they kick ass, and they're smart. Maybe too smart.
... Sigh. My heroes.
Sun Su will grow up in good company.
ME: "Okay, me and you play. Unpause it now."
MONK (Unpauses game for a second, then pauses it again.)
ME: "Okay I get it. Come on, hit the start button. Let's play."
MONK (Unpause. Pause.)
ME: "... No really, let's start. I'll let you win. Hit the button again."
MONK (Still paused.)
___________________________
Yay!!
Iko is back. And it only took a year.
:-)
