OUTERCOURSE
Lying in bed this evening, spooning with Amy. Still trying to get some play. Even in the final days of this pregnancy.
She's in her pink pajamas. I'm in nothing.
"Why you wearing so much clothes?" I always ask.
Lately I've been following Amy up to bed. She retires so early these days.
I even wore that hat in the pictures in this entry, which made her totally crack up. I thought her water was going to break.
During Friends, they mention that sex can induce labor. I mention this to Amy as well (orgasm and the prostaglandins in semen are often the inducing culprits), for the tenth time this month.
"I can't wait until I have this baby and can have sex again," she says.
"What do you mean? We can have sex now!" I answer enthusiastically.
"I mean when I can feel good again. Too many aches and pains now."
I squeeze her tight and kiss her forehead. I want to mold my lips over every structure of her face. She doesn't like that though. Bad for her skin. I try to maximize the amount of my skin touching her skin. Meld.
I tell her how much I like to hold her and how much I love her. (Sorry, no details. I'm shy about some things even in this journal.)
"I'm glad you tell me sometimes," she says free of sarcasm.
Yeah, I guess I haven't said it enough lately. But I try to show it.
"Is that your arm I'm rubbing against?" I ask lying on my stomach, under the blankets.
"Back of my hand," Amy answers nonchalantly. Hmm. I've never actually rubbed myself against her hand but it'll do. I can fetishize just about any body part on my lovely Amy.
Amy's kind of used to it actually.
"You know what?" I whisper to her, "I already masturbated down stairs before I came up here."
I tell her this, saying that even though I am "sore and empty," she still makes me crazy enough to want to have sex with any part of her, even the back of her hand, I laugh at myself. Now if that isn't some kind of love .... (and it's not due to some testosterone-producing tumor either ... I checked my levels and I'm not even high-normal range).
Amy seems pleased. But then again, my other hand is rubbing her back which is practically orgasm-producing in pregnant women anyways.
I wonder how many more moments we'll have like this to ourselves. Without being interrupted by the baby, that is, like you see on all those TV shows.
"This is our baby," I say holding her belly, "But you'll always be my baby."
She nods like a child understanding.
I kiss Amy's lips lightly. Upper, then lower, then both. I'd like to kiss her like mad. But she doesn't usually like to be kissed more than a couple times. It's just not her thing. But this time, she doesn't turn her head.
"I felt that," I tell her after she subtly puckers back.
"I can't breathe," she says between kisses.
"What do you mean?"
"I have to breathe through my mouth, my nose is clogged. When you kiss me, I can't breathe," she says but not as if she's complaining. It's almost as if she's tempting me.
I give her a chance to breathe in between. Because that's love too.
Almost reminds me of reverse-CPR. Except that squeezing Amy keeps my heart beating.
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KOREAN SECOND LANGUAGE CAT
I'm teaching ... The LIGER! some Korean.
Whenever he sticks his nose/tongue into our food, I yell at him,
"YAH!!!!"
And he scampers away like a cat out of hell.
In Korean, "Yah" is more like "hey." But ... The LIGER! probably interprets it as,
"If you don't get your stinking nose out of my food right now, I am going to END you!!"
Which is exactly how I mean it.
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MALE PATTERN REGRESSION
It's kind of funny.
Babies come into this world through the womb and sucking on nipples.
And as far as the males are concerned, they spend half or more of their lives looking for a girl who will give them those things back again.
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MAY DAYS
Amy's been bugging me about what I'm going to get her for Mother's Day. My defense is that you aren't truly a mother yet until you have a child to show for it. Yeah, yeah, I know she's really a mother but that's just what I tell her.May is going to be a bad month for the remainder of my life, I can see.
My mom's birthday is in May. Amy's birthday is in May. Baby Boy's birthday will be in May, most likely. Then there's Mother's Day, for Amy and my mom and maybe Amy's mom.
Goddamn! That could be like 6 gifts in one month!
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I like Winnie's new look.
Still haven't picked a definite boy's name yet. Hmm, how about a boy named Soo?
