(Tracy Yee and her lucky pets.)
OTHER PEOPLE'S POSTERITY
7:45 A.M. Walking with Amy to the outpatient lab building to get her blood tests drawn."Are you sure this will work?" Amy asks looking at the prescription with the lab tests I ordered on it.
"Sure it will," I answer, "I order those tests everyday in the hospital. I'm sure your Ob/Gyn will want to know if you're anemic or you've got liver dysfunction or renal failure. I know I would!
"Come to think of it, I should probably get my cholesterol checked," I say tearing out another prescription sheet and writing my own name on it. Ordering tests on myself - now this was fun! I wonder if my thyroid is okay or if my muscle enzymes are elevated from my workout yesterday? What kind of HLA histocompatibility type am I? What IS an HLA histocompatibility type anyways?
Just one of the reasons doctors make the worst patients.
"When was the last time you checked your cholesterol?" Amy asks as we cross the lawn between the hospital and clinic offices.
"They made us get checked as medstudents. It was just barely above the cutoff, 204. But I had a snickers bar an hour before. I'm not sure how much that would affect it. I wasn't doing cardio stuff at the gym then either," I say a bit defensively.
I remember expecting the cholesterol number to be a lot lower than that actually. When I got the result, it was the first time I realized that I probably got my dad's rather bad cardiac profile. I try to convince myself that the snickers bar was the reason, but I also hit the cardio machines at the gym to ensure a lower number next time I check. But I'm still a bit afraid to recheck it.
It was an unusually bright morning for this time of year in Michigan. I caught a glimpse of a sunbeam highlighting Amy's hair and profile as we crossed the street. Amy is blind to Nature's attempts at charming her with it's gentle graces. I see it trying all the time though.
"With my family history, you're probably going to outlive me, you know that?" I tell Amy, like I've told her before.
"I know it, baby. I'll take care of you though," she replies without pause.
It's a good morning.
Inside the office building, we see several people in the waiting room there to get their blood drawn also. The clerk says it will probably be at least 45 minutes before our turn.
I tell Amy I can't wait that long as it's already near 8 A.M. I've got patients to see, tests to order, disease to stamp out, and lives to … whatever, all that shit. Plus I'm getting hungry. I walk back to the hospital.
(The other reason doctors make the worst patients.)
I think about her words again as the hospital's doors seal behind me, leaving all that's natural and beautiful outside. Another day of artificial mortality modification under fluorescent light and plastic tubing.
You don't usually have much say about the duration of your life's path. But the lucky ones get to pick their partner on that path. I realize once again that I decided to spend the rest of my life with the right person.
Even the sun is jealous of me, that way.
[Vacation in seven days!! I need it.]
VENUS MOUTHWASH
Amy's pregnancy book ("What to Expect When You Are Expecting") says that some pregnant women get an increased libido while pregnant. Amy is not in that group, to my desire's dismay.
I heard in a recent noon conference that patients with the "dry eyes, dry mouth" syndrome (Sjogren's Disease) sometimes get oral yeast infections. And that these are best treated with an antifungal vaginal cream, the same tube used for treating some vaginal yeast infections, squirted in their mouths.
And all I could think of then was -- vaginal cream ... I could use a mouthful of that (and not the antifungal kind either).
Sorry ... couldn't help it.
I have to get all this out of me before the baby learns what a search engine is.
(Here are some good links for massage and Horizontal Bi Bim Bopping positions. Maybe if I get really good at the former, Amy will let me utilize more of the latter. Lust is a hopeless man-whore .... The "most common anal sex position" actually made me laugh. Don't worry, it's not porn.)
