"There are now two worlds: the free world and the captive world."
-- John Foster Dulles, envoy to Japan during Truman administration, June 22, 1950."American arrogance toward the new enemy persisted, tinged with racism...."
-- Regarding the Korean War. (From the book, "The Bridge at No Gun Ri")
TRIVIAL LIFE
Anger.
A lot of anger on the web and off. People angry at Arab-AMERICANS or non-WASPs. People angry at people who have free thought and expression. People angry at people being angry. People angry at people who are sad and not angry enough. People angry at people who aren't being "good Americans."
The direction of much of this anger is not good for our country. We are a united nation, but united by our differences. Pointing fingers at who is and who isn't a "good American" is the quickest road to bad nationalism, racism, McCarthyism, and I daresay Communism and Nazi-ism behaviors.
It is definitely not what this country is based on. It's about freedom. Freedom to express. Freedom to think. Freedom to live differently from others. Freedom to act in our society, in a non-harmful way. Freedom to wave your flag (like my mom has done my entire life) or freedom to wave those higher American ideals in your heart instead.
Terrorism is based on creating terror, or fear. They did a good job of that, you have to admit. But as Americans, we have to deal with that fear and try to continue with our lives, our way of life, despite all of this. Simple trivial mundane things are important now for our continuance as a nation. The government will take care of the bigger issues to come soon enough.
We've had enough sadness, and anger. Our children need to have fun, and so do we. Having fun with another person, even if they are different, is all about love and acceptance. The freedom we've fought and died for and may once again have to fight and die for allows this understated but important triviality.
But these are the ideals that make this country strong, even if we're not quite there yet. They are the ideals that make me proud to be an American, and we cannot let anyone, whether terrorists there or hate-mongers here, change our striving toward them. This is the American way of life. Freedom, acceptance, and
Love.
(That's as political as I care to get.)
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The following is paraphrased from an excellent handout at work, written by a counselor at our hospital (Jim Martin). I've added my own comments, as well ... the ones you probably wouldn't expect to see in a public handout.
DIAGNOSIS :
TRAUMATIC EVENT STRESS
DESCRIPTION : Emotional aftershocks after experiencing a traumatic event (an injury, loss of a loved one, property or a serious threat, or any overwhelming emotional experience). Very common and quite normal after such events.
DURATION : Days to weeks to months, or longer, depending.
PHYSICAL SYMPTOMS : nausea, tremors, diarrhea, shakes, dizziness, chest pain (get checked out at hospital), fast heart / breathing rate, aches, sleep disturbances
PSYCHOLOGICAL SYMPTOMS : difficulty concentrating / focusing, confusion, seeing the event over and over, distressing dreams
EMOTIONAL SYMPTOMS : anxiety, fear, guilt, grief, depression, sadness, feeling lost / abandoned / isolated, worrying about others, wanting to hide, anger, irritability, numbness / shock (emotional)
TREATMENT for yourself :
- Bad dreams / thoughts are normal. Don't fight them. They'll get better eventually.
- Maintain a normal schedule. Do something, for others or for yourself.
- Eat regular meals (even if you are not hungry).
- Stay active. Physical activity can be helpful.
- Express your feelings - while trying not to be judgmental or racist or assigning blame to any particular religious or ethnic group.
- Contact friends and family - and not in this anemic bullshit online world if possible. You need to hear a real voice or talk to a real face.
- TAKE A BREAK FROM THE MEDIA for God's sakes. This "watching the news all day" is detrimental, unhealthy, and unproductive. Check in occasionally if you must.
- Find a counselor if feelings last too long or are too intense.
THINK OF THE CHILDREN (in answer to my last question in my previous entry):
- Model positive coping skills. Children learn from you. Don't turn them into emotional cripples or racists.
- Answer their questions as honestly and directly as possible. Admit if you don't have the answers.
- Example : "I don't why this has happened but I know everything is being done to keep us safe."
- Normalize and validate their fears (and yours). Example : "It's okay to feel afraid."
- Reassure them of your love and plans to keep them safe.
- Minimize their (and your) exposure to the media. (How many times do you need to see planes crashing or people crying?)
- Maintain routines.
- Try to remain objective and avoid stereotypes.
- Spend time with them. Teach. Play. Love.
(Who says doctors don't make housecalls anymore? That'll be thirty bucks, please.)
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NOT MY WEDDING
I'm pissed that I have to spend my one day off these past couple weeks at a wedding tomorrow.
It's Amy's self-proclaimed best friend and Amy's the bridesmaid. I tried to get out of it with my usual excuse.
ME : "Why can't you tell her I'm on call that day? Saving lives and shit."
AMY : "I can't believe you. She was the bridesmaid at OUR wedding. So we have to go to hers."
ME : "Well, I didn't want her to go to our wedding!"
AMY : "You better go!"
ME : "Fine. I'm going."
(I wonder if they'll notice if I bring my laptop ... and dance to the latest BabyV.O.X. video. Good lord.)
