(No drawing this time. Should I get my hair like this guy?)
SHAVED ASIAN
(title blatantly ripped off from this hilarious Korean comic artist)I inherited my dad's non-Asian facial hair genes. I'm really getting tired of having to shave every morning.
I'm letting my hair grow out. I am fine with it being wavey now. I don't care that it's not straight anymore. I don't care if it's getting long anymore. And I'm wondering why cut it at all.
Am I rebelling? By letting it grow out? Or by not caring enough to get it cut?
Maybe I'll grow it long and dye it orange (like Hwoarang, the Korean k-pop punk in the game Tekken, above picture).
In other areas though, I have cut my hair.
Just last week, Amy was commenting on how much hairier my chest has been lately, along with other areas. She even found a couple hairs on MY BACK of all places.
This is not cool. I do not want to start becoming a bear.
Oh, by the way, apparently "bear sex" is a frequently searched term that occasionally draws search engines to an entry I did a while back ("Sai bear sex"). It's in reference to having sex with gay hairy men. I had no idea then.
I wish I still had no idea.
I'm not so vain that I'm going to shave my entire body. Sure, swimmers do it for speed and bodybuilders do it for competitions, but that's not me. Personally, I do think less body hair is better looking on a guy but I'm not going to be that guy.
Anyways, I was in the shower with Amy's shaver (for which I can shave twice as fast with, with much less chance of cutting myself) and I started shaving ...
... My face and neck, as usual. No shaving cream necessary (the way the old-style Coreans-with-a-C did it). Warm water works just fine.
... Then I shaved my armpits bare. I do this for practical reasons, mostly so I don't smell as bad or sweat as much at the gym. It really works and everyone appreciates it, including my Amy, whether they know it or not.
... Then I pulled a couple strands of my chest hair and cut those. Not a noticeable amount but just enough so you can't braid it anymore. Shit. I don't know why. I was just beginning to worry about Amy mentioning that I'm getting hairier.
... And then I shaved the area down ... there ... a bit. Not bare, or even short but much neater, in the hopes that I'd get a little more lip-service by Amy someday. (One of those male fantasies, I know.)
I did shave it bare once. Amy and I both did. Just to see what it was like.
It wasn't that pretty in my opinion. We looked like two hairless pink cats. A little weird. A little disturbing.
It was a bizarre turn-on at first. Sure it made muffdiving feel like hydroplaning for a few days, but when that stubble started growing back, it was not pleasant for anyone. I had to go on muffdiving strike because I got razor burn on my lips. Amy couldn't stop itching down there either. It was then that Amy decided she would never shave it again. (To hell with that Playboy landing-strip pussy pubes propaganda.)
Even sex was kind of funny, because that extra little unappreciated traction between the previous patches of pheromonal hair was gone. When we got sweaty, half the time one of us would slide right off of the other and onto the floor.
WHUMP! "Ow! What the fuck?!" ... Kind of a mood breaker.
Yeah, so no more bare pubic mounds. But a tiny trim wouldn't hurt right?
Well, I had forgotten the major problem with our shaving experience.
Itching. When those little curly hairs start growing back, they itch like a mofo.
This past week, you'd think I had scabies or something. Specifically on my chest and my groin.
I was scratching myself in the hallways. In the elevators. Whenever I walked behind a patient to listen to their lungs ("Take a deep breath -- ahh, that feels good -- I mean -- sounds clear!").
Half the time I'd be scratching my groin with people right in front of me, with one hand under my whitecoat. Jesus, I thought I was going to draw blood for a while there.
It's better now. Most of my hair has gotten back to a comfortable length. I don't have to have one hand scratching my chest and the other scratching my crotch while I'm walking from room to room.
A slight trim for neatness is okay, but I'll think thrice before going all Shaolin monk near my hot pepper down there. The same goes for my sweet baby's wild naturalness. Half the fun of finding that golden temple entrance is the trek through the jungle. I'm quite happy with our trichogenic animalistic remnants.
As I should be, since according to Korean legend, the first Korean woman was descended from a bear. (After eating an herb called mugwort a.k.a Artemisia ... oddly enough.)
Can you tell I shaved?
