Saturday, December 9, 2000:
Embarrassing factoid:
I've always liked Mariah Carey's "All I Want for Christmas."
That damn ... (The) LIGER! : Almost puked on my Dreamcast!!
Wondering: How many quarter-Asians there are out there.
Quarter-Asian and a great artist: Imagine that.
MEDEA's SINs
(I think it's funny how the title of my journal is sometimes linked as "Medea's Sin" or "Media Sin".)
ME: "Baby, I need you to pose for me."
AMY: "Okay, how's this?"
ME: "No, I need to see you in a silky top with your nipples poking through for this drawing."
AMY: "Okay, let me see what I've got."
(Being married has it's ... um, perks ... haha!)
ME: "Can we make them harder ... like this ..." *flick*
AMY: "Owww!! I'm not in the mood!"
ME: "Okay, okay. They're not out there enough. Let me try this ... mmMMMMmm MMMm...."
AMY: "I said I'm. Not. In. The. Mood!" *pushes me to the ground*
ME: "Wait, that's perfect ...." *click*
AMY: "I'm going shopping today."
ME: "Baby, you look so sexy in that. How about some a.m. sex first?"
AMY: "Nuh uh. If we have sex now, we won't have any tonight."
ME: "Sure we will. Come onnnn baby ...."
*Amy leaves*
... The LIGER!: "Meoww." [Translation: At least you still have your balls.]
Words of wisdom, my friends. Words of wisdom.
SIN-SKRIT
I had difficulty getting started today. I can't draw as well sometimes when I'm horny. I had to manage that problem by myself three times today before I reached that Zen of focus that would allow me to draw.
So I drew her again. This time closer to my heart. In as much of an asexual state as I could be in before the testosterone buzz reached more distracting day-off levels again.
The symbols themselves (each representing a medical/surgical specialty, explained here) had been drawn days before. The snakes were a last minute add-on. They were originally real snakes swirling around her for the "caduceus" effect. It was too much. It spoiled her purity somehow so I reduced them to decals and a mysterious shadow in her hood.
No tattoos either this time. No monsters. Just eyes and lips and a face that I don't think I could have drawn a year ago.
My current black-bound drawing book is almost exactly a year old. My first drawing was done in January of this year, and there's only a few pages left in it now.
The January drawings were my first attempts at this particular ink technique with nibs and brushes and India Ink. I was very unsure then, about a lot of things. Much of which I have not written about.
My hiatus is marked by a series of non-inked sketchy practice drawings and a couple of real portraits. Some copied comic book poses. Pencil studies on facial structure. Insecurity with what I wanted to do. I wanted to do an illustrated story but it was then that I realized I wasn't ready.
I also saw my Korean granny for the first time then too. (I still remember shaking her hand and then habitually squeezing her ankles to see if they were swollen, an early sign of heart failure. She probably thinks that's how all Americans greet strangers now. I really wanted to get an ultrasound of her heart too.) My granny would remind me that I had some catching up to do and that time was, as always, short.
My return to this journal is marked in stark ink with an almost single-minded vengeance of an Asian-persuasion. It was about that time I realized how much more I liked visiting Amy's relatives and our nieces.
Studying the Asian eye. It all makes perfect structural sense now. A greater appreciation of its delicateness occurred sometime during the first few portraits I did in this current online journal. And it worked in the other way too. Caucasian eyes appeared that much more round and doll-like to me. Like anime cartoons.
And for the first time, I could even see what I would look like if I'd gotten those features from my mom.
Yesterday I had most of the drawing above penciled already.
It was snowing last night. Amy and I were picking up our pizza at Hungry Howie's when she asked if I should stop using condoms this February. I was surprised, and a bit scared. I love the idea of having little 3/4 Korean kids of our own. I can hardly take my eyes off of those tiny Little Princes and Princesses I see with other Asian couples. But the certainty of it was still settling in. And I hesitated in my answer. The complexity and change of the future was what made me hesitate. Things are simple now.
But I know that under that robe of the unknown will be something even more welcome and familiar. Bare in its simplicity. Warm in its smile. With joyous lights in her eyes.
That's what this drawing will always mean to me.
There are two journals here. This is why I commit myself to a drawing with almost every written entry now. You can look through both of them.
But one of them is still private.
One Saturday afternoon later ....
ME: "Baby! How's my new drawing look?"
(Expecting Amy to say how much prettier she is than the woman in the drawing, as usual.)
AMY: "Looks good! Kind of looks like me."
(No wonder she isn't getting jealous.)
PREVIOUS ENTRY / MAIN / GALLERY / EMAIL / BIO / NOTIFY / NEXT ENTRY
